Twenty Minutes Before Take-Off

twenty minutes before take-off. the boeing 747 stands at the head of the lane, both engines running, ready to circle the runway. i remember your voice in the wind, almost unheard now amidst the roaring nearby, as i hugged your frail body for the last time. it was, as if everything else would fall apart. when, half-turning to stay yet turning to go, i finally enter the passage leading to the airline's door, and you ran back to me, crying, stumbling to say the words between the tears, whispering, reminding me of the love and the feelings we share. i closed my eyes and hold you, as close as i could for you are all i have, quietly carving the memory of your face in my mind and of a moment that's left of us. it's hard to hold you in my arms, knowing i may never hold you again, yet it was even harder to let you go, and for a flickering moment i thought i will lose you forever. even when i tried to fight it, i felt i died deep inside. i lay to think of the happy times we spent together, of summer kisses and countless walk in the late afternoon sand. the ripples roll with a sheer weight of song to the sand, where our hearts drift in the days and memories of a time we shared. we used to handwrestle, remember?, when we tossed upon the ocean to see the horizon lines up in beautiful colors, till rising and gliding, we let our feelings rise with the perfect stars. you always won, and i lost, and God how i love you so. and hand in hand in the moonlight shade, of laughter under the rain, of endless hours lying by the grass, of happy days we don't want to say goodbye to. until everything is a moment to cherish, a fragment of a song we endear. we stay, even when the summertime ends with the first rain and one by one the melodies fade like every seasons of the sun. it was fate that came our ways, there could never be any other time. i looked at you for a second, and i knew then that this is where my heart will stay. we were in love as two people can ever be in love and for all the times that we laughed and cried, you became my song, a dream so near i could almost breathe. still, it was time for me to go. the minutes draw to its close, taking me farther and farther away from you. i took the chance to look at you from the window, and see you for the last time, wishing the shadows would somehow bring a glimpse of your smile. but they didn't, and i realized that you were already gone. for me, this is where forever starts. but the words were inside of me : "let me tell you again why i can't stay, let me tell you again why i should go, let me tell you again how much i need you"..., and for all it hurts, the day bids goodbye. the plane glides into the air, and into a sad memory. someday, in the morning light, when our distant worlds came bounded by a common song, ever as lovely ever as sweet as yesterday, i'll call your name in the passing waves, hoping they'd bring back the feeling of a time we shared together. and at the end of the day, when the colors begin to show the horizon again, somehow the old wind will sail back home, like a quiet reminder that you were here by my side, once in a long time gone. then i will remember how you loved me too, how honestly you cared, how deeply we're in love. until remembering would be worthwhile, until what is left for me is to hold on. then turn, go home, walk in the lane, when you can no more see my fears. and say your name, and draw the pain, till forever holds, in silent tears.